I was 14 when I started smoking. A friend of mine started this and I thought it was a pretty cool thing. There were no warnings about the danger then. When I was little, a bus drove by and on the side of the bus there was an advert for Capstan Full Strength from Benson and Hedges.
I stole cigarettes from my father. He knew I was doing it and caught me. I told a blatant lie. At first I smoked a few cigarettes a day, if that, but when I was 18 and earning my living, I bought 10 cigarettes a day. This number increased to twenty a day as life stresses increased – children, work – and eventually one of them started smoking more. I probably smoked up to 25 cigarettes a day, that’s a lot every day, and I smoked for 45 years.
I was a teacher at the primary school I attended in Miles Platting, Manchester, and all my children attended that school. When my daughter Chezny was seven years old, people started talking about the dangers of smoking. At the end of the day, she asked me if I wanted to quit smoking, “because I don’t want you to die.”
We went to North Manchester General Hospital with one of the non-smoking nurses – there were no anti-smoking campaigns like there are now – and we will always remember her speech. She explained that if they found high levels of CO2 in schools, they could go in and close the school.
I then had to blow into a CO2 machine and get a high score. Chezney looked at the nurse, burst into tears and said, “You’re not going to silence my mother, are you?” The impact was enormous. I quit smoking for seven years.
But then my father came to me in 1996, after my mother died. He lived with me for about 17 years and I cared for him in a hospital bed in my living room for the rest of his life. I lived in this room 24/7. One day I finally reached for a cigarette. I sat with him all night and smoked because my father was dying. This still bothers me to this day.
Unfortunately, I continued to smoke until 2022 when I was hospitalized with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). I was diagnosed in my early 40s (I’m 61 now) and was told that quitting smoking was one of the best things I could do. I tried again and again, but it didn’t work.
I used to tell my family I quit smoking, then lock myself in the bathroom with the smoker practically hanging in the window around my waist, thinking no one would notice. At that time we lived in a rather long alley, and I remember my husband entering the house. He asked how I was doing with smoking. I would say I was fine, but then he asked, “Weren’t you leaning out the bathroom window when I was driving down the avenue?” I had to pretend to be innocent.
I liked smoking, no matter how sad it was. I had a habit and I liked it. And that made it even harder to give up. I didn’t know anything about COPD. At the time, I had just been given a Ventolin inhaler to use when I became short of breath. That’s all.
It didn’t have much of an impact on me at the time, so it didn’t seem like it would affect my future. I was so busy with my teaching career and family life that I did not think about smoking and its consequences. It was very bad. I’m now thinking: “Then why didn’t you do anything?” Why didn’t you take this seriously?”
Sometimes I hated the smell of smoking. Whenever I had a cold, I always felt its effects very strongly and it landed on my chest. I had a cough for several months, but I continued to smoke. Once the cold goes away and you feel better, it will simply disappear from your memory.
One day last June I woke up, it was still dark and I felt like I was dying. I couldn’t catch my breath at all. I walked from the bedroom to the landing and managed to call my daughter, who called 911. The first thing the paramedics did was give me oxygen. Even with oxygen I couldn’t breathe. I have never been so scared in my life.
I was taken to the Royal Oldham Hospital and stayed there for ten days. I was told that I also have breathing problems. The doctor said, “You must quit smoking.” I just didn’t know how to do it.
I came home with a lot of antibiotics and steroids, which is what you get right away if you have COPD and a respiratory infection to make your lungs a little stronger. I realized that I had to do something. I used nicotine gum and lozenges. Even though they took away my desire, I felt like I had to do something with my hands. I definitely wouldn’t knit.
I went to one of the vape shops and bought some. From then on I never wanted a cigarette again. This month I returned to the hospital with COPD. The rest of the year was very difficult. There are days when I get up and feel so out of breath that I find it difficult to do simple things like make myself a cup of tea.
In June of this year I became terribly ill. I developed a fever and was taken back to Royal Oldham. This time I was in the emergency room and the doctor asked me if I had signed a do not resuscitate order. I asked if I was dying and I became very scared, which did not improve my breathing at all.
He called my daughter early in the morning and I thought he was telling her to come because I was dying. He said that the CO2 level in my body had become so high that I was getting sick. I had to breathe into a machine with a mask. I looked like an astronaut. I was shocked. I just wanted to turn it off.
I had to do this for fourteen hours at a time – I was using a non-invasive ventilator. When I was sent home, I saw on the discharge notes that it said “high risk of readmission.” And the next month I sat down on the machine again for 10 days. At that moment the doctor said that I needed the device at home.
I was eventually referred to Wythenshawe Hospital and my saturation [oxygen saturation level] I was 76 years old. A healthy person should be between 95 and 100 years old, and a person with COPD should be between 88 and 92 years old. The doctor said he simply couldn’t let me go home. The remaining organs had to compensate for the lack of oxygen, so I was hospitalized again, this time far from home. I felt completely isolated.
I was discharged on September 21st using a non-invasive ventilator and have remained at home since then. I have to use the car every night and it affects me. I’m divorced now and can’t imagine being in a relationship again. If I want to take a holiday abroad, I need to go to the hospital and have a lung function test to see what it is – just like when you get on a plane, I may need oxygen during the flight.
Everything in my life now revolves around my lung function, what I can and cannot do. It’s incredibly difficult. I worked as a teacher until March 2020 and made good money. The sudden arrival of benefits and universal credit…what a shock to the system.
Debbie is part of Greater Manchester’s Make Smoking History campaign, which highlights that two out of three smokers will die prematurely if they don’t take action to quit. For more information visit: https://makesmokinghistory.co.uk/.
Source: I News
I’m Raymond Molina, a professional writer and journalist with over 5 years of experience in the media industry. I currently work for 24 News Reporters, where I write for the health section of their news website. In my role, I am responsible for researching and writing stories on current health trends and issues. My articles are often seen as thought-provoking pieces that provide valuable insight into the state of society’s wellbeing.