Of all the tragic moments that Chelsea have witnessed this season, the 57th minute of the 2-1 defeat at Brighton deserves special mention. It was the most expensive transfer in Premier League history, replacing Enzo Fernandes (£107m), Wesley Fofan (£70m), Raheem Sterling (£47.5m) and Christian Pulisic (£57m).
Judging solely by their insipid play, or ignoring the fact that the Seagulls built their entire roster for much less than half as much, it was a real blue bottom.
The changes also made Hakim Ziyech the 22nd player to put Frank Lampard ahead in his three games – the same number Manchester City have used in the league this season. The seemingly endless list of Chelsea players offers every manager many new and inventive ways to try to save the club and fail in doing so, to tarnish both his own reputation and that of any unfortunate player.
Before that, the attacking trio of Sterling, Pulisic and Mikhail Mudrik was not in vain used. No one saw Kai Havertz’s efforts in front of the net and thought: “I think this team should try an established striker even less than No. 9”, except Lampard.
Chelsea scored their first goal in the 387th minute thanks to an error by Brighton and a well-placed distraction. You have outdone, outperformed, outperformed, and outperformed a star student in running a football club.
Of course, Thomas Tuchel, or Graham Potter, or Frank Lampard, or even the unfortunate Bruno Saltor should not be blamed much or not at all, but Todd Boli and Behdad Egbali.
There are many other names involved in owning the Clearlake Capital club, but Boli and Egbali’s attempts to make themselves so public and involved are part of the problem.
Like Victorian children, football club owners should be seen but not heard, and ideally not seen often. That Boeli was photographed exchanging praise with the fans midway through the game is just the latest in a string of mistakes and real-life mistakes by a man so arrogant that he became sporting director upon his arrival.
Let’s call it what it is: flagrant mismanagement. Boli and Egbali are lottery winners who spend their fortunes on Bugatti, magnum champagne and Enzo Fernandez. Now they’re alone in a mansion with talking toilets and golden wallpaper, and they don’t even have money for electricity.
Fueled by Chelsea’s historic success, there remains faith that the club’s next decision will be the right one, that after some setbacks, equality will be restored.
However, there is no evidence that this will happen, or that those in charge have a common philosophy or know-how to fix this capsizing supertanker. So far, Boely’s master plan has been to throw a lot of poop on the wall and hope for a few sticks. Stamford Bridge has very smooth walls.
Lampard’s side are 10 points clear of European places and 24 hours away from a possible Champions League elimination from Real Madrid. Clubs often see a season away from European football as an opportunity to realign and focus on competition to capitalize on new stages and more training time.
However, this is not the case for Chelsea, who, after the return of the Mercenaries, boast a core squad of 40. Do you remember Tiamue Bakayoko and Baba Rahman? Both are on the 2024 agenda. Ideally, the group should be cut in half by September, which simply won’t happen with 15 players on five-year contracts.
This leaves enough playing time for the budget to satisfy each of the 40 different egos at Stamford Bridge and convince them all that they are special little angels. This will most likely rob the new manager of considerable leeway and lead the team into near-total rebellion all the time.
The 11 games that Lampard will oversee would give the longtime manager the perfect opportunity to assess and shape the team ahead of the summer and influence the necessary spending. Now, this is probably not the case, and the impossibility of the task before us has been exposed exactly as it is.
Graham Potter’s greatest strength was that he was not just another ego to be pampered, but a balanced force in the midst of chaos. The new manager will need to be confident enough to acknowledge the current situation and believe he can fix it, working alongside sporting directors Lawrence Stewart and Paul Winstanley and technical director Christopher Wywell.
It remains to be seen whether they exist and whether Boli and Co. can identify them.