I have a theory. When a woman makes a man laugh, she is no longer something that makes him feel “weird” in his pants. If by then he finds her attractive, she will become a sexual object. But as soon as she makes him laugh, she breaks his erection. Once she is considered funny, she becomes “one of the guys” which makes him unable to objectify her.

I do not know why. Laughing in bed with someone is great; it doesn’t mean you had a bad time. But I think maybe that’s where the idea that beautiful women aren’t funny comes from – that’s bullshit, of course. Take a look at Aisling B, Michaela Coel, Katherine Ryan, Sharon Horgan, Phoebe Waller-Bridge and many more – they are all beautiful and funny.

Sexual interaction in heterosexual women is different; Of course, we can catch someone and say, “Damn, he’s in shape,” but we don’t react instantly and physically like men. This, in turn, means, of course, that we are a little more… let’s say… measured. There is nothing more attractive than a man with a sense of humor. So many men take themselves seriously (and there’s nothing funnier than the guy who’s guilty of it), but when they have a sense of humor, it’s usually accompanied by a sense of self-deprecation, and that’s when the man finds the gold. Well, at least for me.

Men and women have a different sense of humor. You can meet a woman and in three seconds understand that you have common experiences. Recently, I was in the doctor’s waiting room, on a first-come, first-served basis. There were about 20 people waiting for us, and this middle-aged man began to get angry and complain loudly that the system was not working properly. I turned to a much older woman and whispered, “This is what a penis will do for you.” Although we were far apart in age and, I assumed, in every other aspect of life, she burst out laughing. I would never say that to a man.

I would describe myself primarily as a female comedian. This does not mean that I exclude men, but I do not represent them when I write or speak. Between women there is a convention for the absurdity with which we lived in a society dominated by men. If guys get my stuff and think I’m funny, that’s good for them, but I don’t really think about you when I do.

It’s not that men read a lot of women’s books—studies show that the top 10 best-selling female authors have only 19 percent male audiences. Men probably won’t even read How I Found the Cure for Cancer if it was written by someone named Emily Duda.

I had to be sloppy to get attention in the comedy world. When I was a “serious” actress, I had what I now call “true impostor syndrome.” I wasn’t very good at it and didn’t take it very seriously. If I was in the scene and had to pretend my dog ​​was dead, I couldn’t get the idea out of my head that the audience would just find out I never had a dog.

Ten years into my career, comedian Alexei Sale told me I was funny, so I wrote a sketch (which we probably wouldn’t do now) in which we played lesbians who own a bike shop called Menstrual Cycle. It was nice to do your own things. Not that I thought I was brilliant at it, but my impostor syndrome was more like self-sabotaged insecurities than proper analysis of those specific abilities.

After the departure of Caroline Ahern quick showI was the only woman in the room. It was like I was with a group of rugby players when I said, “Um, hi, what are the rules of this game?” There were times when talking to six guys in a room was difficult, and the irony is that none of these guys are even remotely sexist.

However, as a woman, I had an advantage that I didn’t know about at the time. None of the guys could write jokes or characters like me. At least they couldn’t write them down and walk away with them even then. It never crossed my mind to write a character that could be played by a man or a woman, I wrote about experiences specific to women.

My characters came from feeling like I was in a boxing ring. Most of all I quoted “Girls Men Can’t Hear”, written by one quick show Experience when I asked for a sketch and everyone kept talking. To their credit, when they read the character, they were like, “Oh shit, is that us?” I have received many letters from women who knew the situation all too well, women who took their husbands to the doctor only to have the doctor see them. him instead of her.

Since then, things have changed for funny women. You have to look at all the popular comedies written by women in the last decade – This side up, flea bag, chewing gum, Mandy. Whether you run a broadcaster, publisher, or comedy establishment, your job is to find people who can advance our cultural narrative, including those who represent something other than the status quo. There are more women in power than there should be, but we need more, we need a level playing field… but not a rugby field.

I hope women feel stronger now. I want us all to be more viscous and less afraid of being considered annoying or “crucified” with a man. It takes confidence, courage, and resilience to get people to stop talking about you and focus on themselves again.

But if you don’t have that certainty, you have to fabricate it – fake it. Remember, all artists do this.

Shortlist of Published Novels 2023

Vahala – Nikki May

In this explosive tale of love, race and family, three friends face a crime from their past when a charming ex-acquaintance comes to town.

Love Marriage – Monica Ali

Ali’s wonderfully rich fifth novel follows two medical trainees who plan their wedding amidst a chaos of parental interference, infidelity, secrets and sex.

Factory Girl – Michelle Gallen

Maeve Murray dreams of escaping her small town in Northern Ireland and leaving her problems and her past behind. Working in a factory may seem like an option, but is it really?

Beginner woman – Tahmima Anam

Anam used her own background in the startup world to write this satire on Tech Bro. A computer scientist and her husband develop a new application that quickly overshadows them.

Impossible – Sarah Lotz

When a failed writer meets a seamstress through a misdirected email, the connection is instantaneous. But not everything is as it seems in this action-packed love thriller.

Chemistry Lessons – Bonnie Garmus

Elisabeth Zott is a 1960s chemist who becomes the star of a cooking show that not only teaches women how to cook, but changes the status quo.

Exhibitionist – Charlotte Mendelsohn

In this darkly comic exploration of art, sacrifice and strange desires, the artist’s family comes together for his new exhibition, where old secrets are sure to be revealed.

Castle – Phoebe Luckhurst

This hilarious debut follows a bizarre morning in the lives of four 20-year-old Londoners stranded in the attic of their shared flat.