Dating can be a minefield. From worrying about your appearance, to nervousness before dinner, to discovering that your date has completely opposite views on you, this crucial first date can often leave you depressed, or worse, that you weren’t good enough.
But how good would it be to be single without questioning everything you did or said on a date? Or take it personally without refusal?
Life coach Michelle Elman shares her ten rules for making dating work for you:
Make sure the date matches your schedule
You no longer need to move through life to disturb a stranger. If you’re planning a date, give them two available nights or days that work for you, then let them decide. It also means saying no to anyone who sneaks into your private messages at 2am. They need to text at a reasonable time to ask you out on a date.
They must travel as far as you.
If your friend doesn’t want to put in the effort for the first date, good luck getting her to put in the effort after. On the first date, you are still trying to impress the other person. If they offer you a place that is too far away, feel free to tell them to look somewhere in between.
Put your needs ahead of their opinions
If they think you need because you have needs and talk about them, let them. You can’t control your opinion and stay in pleasing mode if you don’t share your needs for fear of being judged. Let her judge and ask yourself if you want to be with the judgmental person.
Don’t change your standards because you really like them
The moment you decide you like her, you become vulnerable to a drop in your standards. Just because you don’t want them to leave doesn’t mean you have to compromise. We must remain conscious and aware of the person in front of us, including any warning signs that may come up.
Drop the demand for perfection
If you’re nervous, say you’re nervous. If you’re uncomfortable, call. This takes the pressure off and means you don’t have to worry about how you meet. There is nothing wrong with being honest.
First Date Doesn’t Mean You’ll Stop Dating Others
Don’t stop swiping once you find a match and date the person. Keep your options open and, as the Love Islanders say, “don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”
Show them everyday life
Gone are the rules of beauty during dates. If you don’t normally wear make-up, don’t wear make-up on a date either. If you prefer a sweatshirt and leggings, check out this sweatshirt and leggings. We do not project a person that we are no longer. It’s unstable so you can show them who you are right from the start.
If you don’t have time for a date, don’t do it.
We all have busy lives, and there will be times when you flip so many plates that the thought of a date overwhelms you. Respect your feelings and let your personal life take a backseat. He will be there to pick it up again when you are ready.
Don’t change just because someone doesn’t like you
Being selfish means putting your sincerity above someone else’s opinion. Just because they say you’re boring doesn’t make it true. Your opinion is not fact, and your job is to believe that you are enough.
It’s better to fight than avoid
Those of us who avoid conflict may take the time to convince ourselves that it’s too early to deal with serious problems or that you have no right to be angry, but this lays the groundwork for hiding your feelings. If you have a problem, say so. Even if you don’t want to see them anymore.
Michelle Elman’s The Selfish Romantic: How to Date Without Feeling About Yourself is now available
Source: I News
I am Mario Pickle and I work in the news website industry as an author. I have been with 24 News Reporters for over 3 years, where I specialize in entertainment-related topics such as books, films, and other media. My background is in film studies and journalism, giving me the knowledge to write engaging pieces that appeal to a wide variety of readers.